{"id":3538,"date":"2021-04-08T17:26:32","date_gmt":"2021-04-08T14:26:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terveelukeskus.ee\/?p=3538"},"modified":"2021-04-30T11:37:20","modified_gmt":"2021-04-30T08:37:20","slug":"8-randinu-temas-kas-uztures-milestibas-liesmu-degosu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terveelukeskus.ee\/lv\/8-randinu-temas-kas-uztures-milestibas-liesmu-degosu\/","title":{"rendered":"8 randi\u0146u t\u0113mas, kas uztur\u0113s m\u012blest\u012bbas liesmu dz\u012bvu"},"content":{"rendered":"

Daudziem p\u0101riem regul\u0101ras randi\u0146u apmekl\u0113\u0161ana ir izaicin\u0101jums. Var b\u016bt daudz \u0161\u0137\u0113r\u0161\u013cu, piem\u0113ram, nav nek\u0101du ideju par to, kurp doties vai ko tur dar\u012bt. Bie\u017ei sastopama probl\u0113ma ir ar\u012b sarunu uzs\u0101k\u0161ana par t\u0113m\u0101m, kas ir svar\u012bgas attiec\u012bb\u0101m. Ir tik viegli atlikt sarunas par svar\u012bg\u0101m, bet sare\u017e\u0123\u012bt\u0101m t\u0113m\u0101m.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0160is raksts ir D\u017eona Gotmena, D\u017e\u016blijas \u0160varcas Gotmenas, Daga Abramsas un Rei\u010delas Karltones Abramsas gr\u0101matas \u201c8 randi\u0146i: svar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101s sarunas m\u016b\u017ea m\u012blest\u012bbai\u201d kopsavilkums. Gr\u0101matas autori ir apvienoju\u0161i divas interesantas jomas vien\u0101: randi\u0146us un sarunas par t\u0113m\u0101m, kas ilgtermi\u0146\u0101 ietekm\u0113 attiec\u012bbas.<\/p>\n

Vai j\u016bsu m\u0113r\u0137i, person\u012bbas un uzskati sakr\u012bt? Sekojot autoru ieteikumiem, j\u016bs, cerams, sa\u0146emsiet atbildes uz \u0161iem jaut\u0101jumiem un ar\u012b padzi\u013cin\u0101siet savas attiec\u012bbas, pievienojot t\u0101m vair\u0101k m\u012blest\u012bbas.<\/p>\n

No visda\u017e\u0101d\u0101kaj\u0101m svar\u012bgaj\u0101m t\u0113m\u0101m autori ir izv\u0113l\u0113ju\u0161ies asto\u0146as t\u0113mas, kas ir svar\u012bgas ilgsto\u0161\u0101m attiec\u012bb\u0101m. Viena t\u0113ma uz randi\u0146u. Piem\u0113ram, ja j\u016bs apmekl\u0113jat vienu no \u0161iem randi\u0146iem reizi m\u0113nes\u012b, j\u016bs noteikti varat paveikt apm\u0113ram gadu. Un k\u0101p\u0113c gan to nedar\u012bt katru gadu.<\/p>\n

Datumu sec\u012bba nav svar\u012bga.<\/p>\n

SATURA R\u0100D\u012aT\u0100JS
\n<\/span> Pirm\u0101 t\u0113ma: uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s<\/a>
\n<\/span> Otr\u0101 t\u0113ma: konflikts<\/a>
\n<\/span> Tre\u0161\u0101 t\u0113ma: sekss un intimit\u0101te<\/a>
\n<\/span> Ceturt\u0101 t\u0113ma: darbs un nauda<\/a>
\n<\/span> Piekt\u0101 t\u0113ma: \u0123imene un b\u0113rni<\/a>
\n<\/span> Sest\u0101 t\u0113ma: sp\u0113le un piedz\u012bvojumi<\/a>
\n<\/span> Sept\u012bt\u0101 t\u0113ma: izaugsme<\/a>
\n<\/span> Astot\u0101 t\u0113ma: sap\u0146i<\/a>
\n<\/span> Kopsavilkums<\/a>
\n<\/span> Kvalitat\u012bva sarunu higi\u0113na<\/a><\/div>\n

\"Uztic\u012bba<\/h2>\n

Pirm\u0101 t\u0113ma: uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s ir jebkuru ilgsto\u0161u attiec\u012bbu st\u016brakme\u0146i<\/h2>\n

S\u0101ciet, pajaut\u0101jot sev, ko jums noz\u012bm\u0113 uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s. Manupr\u0101t, ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s noz\u012bm\u0113 b\u016bt blakus savam dz\u012bvesbiedram. Tas noz\u012bm\u0113 ar\u012b izvair\u012bties no situ\u0101cij\u0101m, kas var\u0113tu novest pie neuztic\u012bbas. \u0160\u0101das situ\u0101cijas ir j\u0101izvair\u0101s jebkur\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101, jo neatkar\u012bgi no t\u0101, kas tie\u0161i tur notiek, t\u0101s negat\u012bvi ietekm\u0113 uztic\u0113\u0161anos.<\/p>\n

T\u0101 viet\u0101, lai mekl\u0113tu k\u0101du citu, kam nepiem\u012bt j\u016bsu partnera tr\u016bkumi un v\u0101j\u012bbas, atkl\u0101ti run\u0101jiet ar savu dz\u012bvesbiedru par sav\u0101m j\u016bt\u0101m un vajadz\u012bb\u0101m.<\/p>\n

Lai sagatavotos randi\u0146am par uztic\u0113\u0161anos un ap\u0146em\u0161anos:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Padom\u0101jiet par to, ko jums person\u012bgi noz\u012bm\u0113 uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s.<\/li>\n
  • Var\u0113tu b\u016bt noder\u012bgi padom\u0101t par saviem vec\u0101kiem un to, k\u0101 uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s ietekm\u0113ja m\u0101jas, kur\u0101s uzaug\u0101t.<\/li>\n
  • Turkl\u0101t atceries da\u017eus piem\u0113rus, k\u0101 tavs dz\u012bvesbiedrs nesen ir izr\u0101d\u012bjis tev ap\u0146em\u0161anos.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Randi\u0146\u0101 komunik\u0101cija ir \u013coti svar\u012bga. P\u0113c k\u0101rtas uzdodiet viens otram jaut\u0101jumus, piem\u0113ram:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • Kad p\u0113d\u0113jo reizi tu man neuztic\u0113jies un ko es var\u0113ju dar\u012bt cit\u0101d\u0101k?<\/li>\n
    • Ko es varu dar\u012bt, lai par\u0101d\u012btu savu ap\u0146em\u0161anos pret jums un m\u016bsu attiec\u012bb\u0101m?<\/li>\n
    • K\u0101 at\u0161\u0137iras m\u016bsu uztic\u012bbas un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s defin\u012bcijas, un k\u0101 m\u0113s varam risin\u0101t \u0161\u012bs at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bbas?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Izv\u0113loties vietu savam pirmajam randi\u0146am, p\u0101rliecinieties, ka izv\u0113laties t\u0101du, kas pat\u012bk jums abiem un kur j\u016bs abi j\u016btaties dro\u0161i un \u0113rti, neviens j\u016bs netrauc\u0113s.<\/p>\n

      \"Konfliktu<\/h2>\n

      Otr\u0101 t\u0113ma: Konflikts ir da\u013ca no katr\u0101m attiec\u012bb\u0101m, ta\u010du ir pareizais veids, k\u0101 c\u012bn\u012bties.<\/h2>\n

      Visi p\u0101ri str\u012bdas. Paties\u012bb\u0101 str\u012bdi var b\u016bt terapeitiski un vesel\u012bgs veids, k\u0101 izteikt savas at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bbas un iepaz\u012bt vienam otru.<\/p>\n

      Sp\u0113ja atrisin\u0101t konfliktus ir viens no veiksm\u012bgu attiec\u012bbu st\u016brakme\u0146iem. P\u0113t\u012bjumi liecina, ka laim\u012bg\u0101kie p\u0101ri ir tie, kas sp\u0113j atrisin\u0101t konfliktus, uzklaus\u012bt savu partneri un m\u0113\u0123in\u0101t saskat\u012bt otra cilv\u0113ka perspekt\u012bvu.<\/p>\n

      Pirms ar konfliktu saist\u012btas tik\u0161an\u0101s:<\/p>\n

        \n
      • S\u0101ciet individu\u0101li un katrs izveidojiet sarakstu ar t\u0113m\u0101m, par kur\u0101m jums ir iev\u0113rojami at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bga izpratne. Piem\u0113ram, m\u0101jas darbi, b\u0113rni, k\u0101 r\u012bkoties ar naudu utt.<\/li>\n
      • Sast\u0101dot sarakstu, vari padom\u0101t ar\u012b par veidiem, k\u0101 p\u0101rvar\u0113t \u0161os konfliktus. Tom\u0113r apsver iesp\u0113ju, ka da\u017eas at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bbas nevar nov\u0113rst.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Kad m\u0101jasdarbi izpild\u012bti, ir laiks doties uz randi\u0146u. Vislab\u0101k ir izv\u0113l\u0113ties priv\u0101t\u0101ku vietu \u0161im randi\u0146am, ja nu gad\u012bjum\u0101 k\u013c\u016bst p\u0101r\u0101k karsti.<\/p>\n

          \n
        • Run\u0101jiet un klausieties sec\u012bb\u0101! (un nek\u0101d\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 nep\u0101rtrauciet viens otru)<\/li>\n
        • Apskatiet katru t\u0113mu no sava saraksta pa vienai, paskaidrojiet, k\u0101p\u0113c t\u0101 jums ir svar\u012bga, un k\u0101dus iesp\u0113jamos kompromisus j\u016bs redzat.<\/li>\n
        • Var\u0113tu b\u016bt noder\u012bgi ar\u012b p\u0101rrun\u0101t, k\u0101 konflikti tika risin\u0101ti j\u016bsu b\u0113rn\u012bbas m\u0101j\u0101s un k\u0101 tas j\u016bs ietekm\u0113 \u0161odien.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          \u0160is randi\u0146\u0161 var beigties ar konfliktu, ta\u010du ir veidi, k\u0101 nekav\u0113joties dzied\u0113t \u0161\u012bs svaig\u0101s br\u016bces. Piem\u0113ram, kad str\u012bds ir nedaudz pierimis:<\/p>\n

            \n
          • dalieties sav\u0101 starp\u0101 taj\u0101, ko jut\u0101t konflikta laik\u0101<\/li>\n
          • m\u0113\u0123iniet saprast, kas to aizs\u0101ka un k\u0101 j\u016bs varat izvair\u012bties no \u0161\u0101da konflikta n\u0101kotn\u0113<\/li>\n
          • p\u0101rrun\u0101jiet, k\u0101 j\u016bs var\u0113tu uzvesties lab\u0101k n\u0101kam\u0101 konflikta laik\u0101.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            Atcerieties, ka skaistas vietas bie\u017ei vien ved pa gr\u016btu ce\u013cu.<\/p>\n

            \"Sekss<\/h2>\n

            Tre\u0161\u0101 t\u0113ma: Sekss un intimit\u0101te da\u017eiem p\u0101riem var b\u016bt sare\u017e\u0123\u012btas t\u0113mas, ta\u010du par t\u0101m ir svar\u012bgi run\u0101t<\/h2>\n

            K\u0101du iemeslu d\u0113\u013c tikai retais p\u0101rs atkl\u0101ti run\u0101 par seksu randi\u0146\u0101. Tom\u0113r p\u0113t\u012bjumi liecina, ka p\u0101ri, kas atkl\u0101ti apsprie\u017e savu seksu\u0101lo dz\u012bvi, nodarbojas ar vair\u0101k seksu nek\u0101 tie, kas to nedara. Un sieviet\u0113m \u0161\u0101dos p\u0101ros ir vair\u0101k orgasmu.<\/p>\n

            \u0160\u012b randi\u0146u noteik\u0161ana var b\u016bt \u012bpa\u0161i sare\u017e\u0123\u012bta p\u0101riem, kuri n\u0101k no \u013coti at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bgas vides. Autori min viena p\u0101ra, Katjas un \u012atana, piem\u0113ru.<\/p>\n

            Katja uzauga \u0123imen\u0113, kur\u0101 sekss tika atkl\u0101ti apspriests, bet \u012atans teica, ka vi\u0146a t\u0113vs no\u0123\u012bba, dzirdot v\u0101rdu \u201cvag\u012bna\u201d. Ta\u010du, izmantojot \u0161\u0101dus jaut\u0101jumus, vi\u0146iem izdev\u0101s veiksm\u012bgi noorganiz\u0113t \u0161o randi\u0146u.<\/p>\n

            Gatavo\u0161an\u0101s randi\u0146am:<\/p>\n

              \n
            • Ide\u0101la vieta var\u0113tu b\u016bt romantiska atmosf\u0113ra \u2013 vakari\u0146as sve\u010du gaism\u0101 restor\u0101n\u0101 vai noma\u013ca piknika pludmal\u0113. \u0160im randi\u0146am j\u0101b\u016bt romantiskam \u2014 ja tas izdosies, tas var\u0113tu beigties ar m\u012bl\u0113\u0161anos. \u0122\u0113rbieties atbilsto\u0161i!<\/li>\n
            • Pirms do\u0161an\u0101s uz randi\u0146u, p\u0101rdom\u0101jiet veidus, k\u0101 run\u0101t par seksu ar savu partneri. Ja run\u0101t par seksu ir gr\u016bti, noskaidrojiet, k\u0101p\u0113c. Nav pareiza vai nepareiza veida, k\u0101 to dar\u012bt. Galvenais ir god\u012bgums un atkl\u0101t\u012bba.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

              Kad randi\u0146\u0161 ir beidzies, ir pien\u0101cis laiks uzdot un atbild\u0113t uz da\u017eiem jaut\u0101jumiem.<\/p>\n

                \n
              • K\u0101das ir j\u016bsu lab\u0101k\u0101s seksu\u0101l\u0101s pieredzes vienam ar otru?<\/li>\n
              • K\u0101das aktivit\u0101tes tav\u0101 dz\u012bvesbiedr\u0101 tevi uzbudina?<\/li>\n
              • K\u0101das seksu\u0101l\u0101s aktivit\u0101tes tu v\u0113l\u0113tos izm\u0113\u0123in\u0101t, bet neesi uzdro\u0161in\u0101jies pajaut\u0101t?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                Atbildot uz \u0161iem jaut\u0101jumiem, paturiet pr\u0101t\u0101 sekojo\u0161o: esiet \u013coti konkr\u0113ti, atbildot uz jaut\u0101jumiem par to, kur\u0101m \u0137erme\u0146a da\u013c\u0101m jums pat\u012bk, ka jums pieskaras, vai k\u0101das ir j\u016bsu iecien\u012bt\u0101k\u0101s pozas. Neskaidr\u012bbas rad\u012bs tikai liel\u0101ku apjukumu.<\/p>\n

                \"Ar<\/h2>\n

                Ceturt\u0101 t\u0113ma: Darba un naudas jaut\u0101jumu risin\u0101\u0161ana ir svar\u012bga labu attiec\u012bbu sast\u0101vda\u013ca.<\/h2>\n

                Darba un dzimumu lomu t\u0113ma p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101s desmitgad\u0113s ir k\u013cuvusi daudz vienl\u012bdz\u012bg\u0101ka un taisn\u012bg\u0101ka, ta\u010du, neskatoties uz to, \u0161\u012b t\u0113ma joproj\u0101m ir aktu\u0101la sabiedr\u012bb\u0101 un ietekm\u0113 ar\u012b m\u016bsu cie\u0161\u0101s attiec\u012bbas. Piem\u0113ram, 2017. gad\u0101 Igaunij\u0101 bija liel\u0101k\u0101 v\u012brie\u0161u un sievie\u0161u darba samaksas at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bba ES.<\/p>\n

                \u0122imen\u0113s m\u0113s bie\u017ei uzskat\u0101m par pa\u0161saprotamu, ja \u0123imenes loceklis veic iev\u0113rojamu da\u013cu m\u0101jas darbu. Tas var\u0113tu b\u016bt v\u012brs, sieva vai k\u0101ds cits tuvs radinieks. Neatkar\u012bgi no t\u0101, vai \u0161is darbs ir b\u0113rnu pieskat\u012b\u0161ana, \u0113st gatavo\u0161ana, kaut k\u0101 remont\u0113\u0161ana, apr\u012bkojuma apkope, dr\u0113bju mazg\u0101\u0161ana utt. Ja \u0161ie uzdevumi b\u016btu j\u0101ieg\u0101d\u0101jas k\u0101 pakalpojums, tam b\u016btu b\u016btiska ietekme uz \u0123imenes bud\u017eetu.<\/p>\n

                Tiek uzskat\u012bts, ka m\u0101jas darbi ASV izmaks\u0101tu aptuveni 90\u00a0000\u00a0ASV dol\u0101ru gad\u0101, ja jums b\u016btu j\u0101algo k\u0101ds, kas tos veic. Sal\u012bdzin\u0101jumam, vid\u0113jie gada ien\u0101kumi tur ir no 45\u00a0000 l\u012bdz 100\u00a0000\u00a0ASV dol\u0101ru. T\u0101tad m\u0113s run\u0101jam par divu cilv\u0113ku algo\u0161anu ar vid\u0113jo algu.<\/p>\n

                Bet k\u0101 dzimumu lomas ietekm\u0113 attiec\u012bbas? Pew Research 2007. gad\u0101 atkl\u0101ja, ka m\u0101jsaimniec\u012bbas darbu dal\u012b\u0161ana ir tre\u0161\u0101 svar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101 ilgsto\u0161u attiec\u012bbu sast\u0101vda\u013ca, t\u016bl\u012bt p\u0113c uztic\u012bbas un vesel\u012bgas seksu\u0101l\u0101s dz\u012bves.<\/p>\n

                Gatavojoties randi\u0146am, uzdodiet sev \u0161\u0101dus jaut\u0101jumus:<\/p>\n

                  \n
                • Vai taviem vec\u0101kiem bija iekr\u0101jumi?<\/li>\n
                • Vai j\u016bs regul\u0101ri dev\u0101ties atva\u013cin\u0101jum\u0101?<\/li>\n
                • Cik taup\u012bgi bija tavi vec\u0101ki?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                  Kad esat atbild\u0113ju\u0161i uz \u0161iem jaut\u0101jumiem, ir pien\u0101cis laiks doties uz randi\u0146u \u2014 un tam j\u0101b\u016bt p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas l\u0113t\u0101kam \u2014 nek\u0101du izsmalcin\u0101tu restor\u0101nu. Apsveriet iesp\u0113ju ieg\u0101d\u0101ties \u0113dienu l\u012bdz\u0146em\u0161anai un sar\u012bkot randi\u0146u m\u0101j\u0101s.<\/p>\n

                  Randi\u0146\u0101:<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  • Dalieties ar savu \u0123imenes v\u0113sturi, kas saist\u012bta ar naudu.<\/li>\n
                  • Tad katrs no jums past\u0101stiet viens otram tr\u012bs veidus, k\u0101 j\u016bsu partneris sniedz ieguld\u012bjumu attiec\u012bb\u0101s \u2014 finansi\u0101li vai cit\u0101di \u2014, ko j\u016bs patiesi nov\u0113rt\u0113jat.<\/li>\n
                  • Esiet atv\u0113rti dal\u012bties sav\u0101s cer\u012bb\u0101s un bail\u0113s par naudu un n\u0101kotni.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    Run\u0101jot par darbu, dzimumu lom\u0101m un naudas t\u0113r\u0113\u0161anu, nav tik svar\u012bgi, k\u0101 tie\u0161i tie ir organiz\u0113ti j\u016bsu \u0123imen\u0113, bet gan tas, lai visas puses b\u016btu apmierin\u0101tas ar situ\u0101ciju un lai b\u016btu p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas maz\u0101k pel\u0113ko zonu.<\/p>\n

                    \"\u0122imenes<\/h2>\n

                    Piekt\u0101 t\u0113ma: Tas, kas attiecas uz \u0123imeni un b\u0113rniem, ir nopietns jaut\u0101jums, un par to ir nepiecie\u0161ama padzi\u013cin\u0101ta diskusija.<\/h2>\n

                    Domstarp\u012bbas par b\u0113rnu rad\u012b\u0161anu vai audzin\u0101\u0161anu var b\u016bt par iemeslu \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s procesam. B\u0113rni var ar\u012b iztuk\u0161ot j\u016bsu bankas kontu. B\u0113rna audzin\u0101\u0161ana l\u012bdz 18 gadu vecumam Amerik\u0101 izmaks\u0101 vid\u0113ji 192\u00a0000 eiro (aptuveni 10\u00a0680\u00a0ASV dol\u0101ru gad\u0101).<\/p>\n

                    D\u017eons Gotmens, balstoties uz savu p\u0113t\u012bjumu, apgalvo, ka p\u0101riem, kuriem pirmo \u010detru laul\u012bbas gadu laik\u0101 piedzimst b\u0113rns, laul\u012bbas laime samazin\u0101s par 67%. Un \u0161\u012b zaud\u0113t\u0101 laul\u012bbas laime neatgrie\u017eas, kam\u0113r b\u0113rni nav iznesti no ligzdas \u2014 protams, ja vi\u0146i joproj\u0101m ir prec\u0113ju\u0161ies.<\/p>\n

                    K\u0101 risin\u0101t \u0161o probl\u0113mu ar b\u0113rniem? Pirmk\u0101rt, gr\u016btniec\u012bbas un dzemd\u012bbu proces\u0101 ir j\u0101iesaist\u0101s abiem vec\u0101kiem. P\u0113t\u012bjumi liecina, ka, ja gr\u016btniec\u012bbas un dzemd\u012bbu proces\u0101 ir iesaist\u012bts t\u0113vs, past\u0101v maz\u0101ks konfliktu risks un varb\u016bt\u012bba, ka laul\u012bbas laime nemazin\u0101sies.<\/p>\n

                    Otrk\u0101rt, vec\u0101kiem ir j\u0101pie\u0161\u0137ir priorit\u0101te intimit\u0101tei vienam ar otru. Ir svar\u012bgi regul\u0101ri uztur\u0113t kontaktus, vai nu ar randi\u0146u, vai past\u0101v\u012bgas komunik\u0101cijas pal\u012bdz\u012bbu.<\/p>\n

                    Iepaz\u012b\u0161an\u0101s jaut\u0101jumi, par kuriem b\u016btu j\u0101apsprie\u017e, ir diezgan ac\u012bmredzami.<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    • K\u0101da ir tava ide\u0101l\u0101 \u0123imene?<\/li>\n
                    • Vai tas attiecas ar\u012b uz b\u0113rniem?<\/li>\n
                    • Ja t\u0101, tad cik daudz?<\/li>\n
                    • K\u0101das probl\u0113mas var\u0113tu rasties b\u0113rnu audzin\u0101\u0161an\u0101?<\/li>\n
                    • K\u0101 j\u016bs var\u0113tu nov\u0113rst vai p\u0101rvar\u0113t \u0161\u012bs probl\u0113mas?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                      Ja esat nol\u0113mu\u0161i nerad\u012bt b\u0113rnus, \u0161is randi\u0146\u0161 tik un t\u0101 ir t\u0101 v\u0113rts. \u0122imene nav tikai b\u0113rni. \u0160aj\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 varat p\u0101rrun\u0101t viens otra tuv\u0101kos \u0123imenes locek\u013cus un to, k\u0101 stiprin\u0101t attiec\u012bbas ar vi\u0146iem. Tie var b\u016bt radinieki vai draugi.<\/p>\n

                      \"Sp\u0113le<\/h2>\n

                      Sest\u0101 t\u0113ma: Rota\u013cas un piedz\u012bvojumi ir ilgsto\u0161u attiec\u012bbu pamat\u0101<\/h2>\n

                      Cien\u012bjamais klaus\u012bt\u0101j, kad p\u0113d\u0113jo reizi j\u016bs ar partneri dev\u0101ties piedz\u012bvojum\u0101? Vai varb\u016bt j\u016bs vienk\u0101r\u0161i kop\u0101 uzved\u0101ties mazliet mu\u013c\u0137\u012bgi? Ja uz \u0161o jaut\u0101jumu ir gr\u016bti atbild\u0113t, tad, iesp\u0113jams, ir pien\u0101cis laiks ienest j\u016bsu attiec\u012bb\u0101s nedaudz rota\u013c\u012bguma.<\/p>\n

                      Hovards Markmans, Denveras Universit\u0101tes Laul\u012bbu un \u0123imenes p\u0113t\u012bjumu centra direktors, kop\u0161 1996.\u00a0gada p\u0113ta p\u0101ru rota\u013c\u012bgumu. Un skait\u013ci run\u0101 pa\u0161i par sevi\u00a0\u2014 p\u0101ri, kas regul\u0101ri rota\u013c\u0101jas un smejas, ir laim\u012bg\u0101ki.<\/p>\n

                      Sestais randi\u0146\u0161 ir velt\u012bts rota\u013c\u0101m un piedz\u012bvojumiem. Sagatavo\u0161an\u0101s:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      • Padom\u0101jiet par vis\u0101d\u0101m jautr\u0101m aktivit\u0101t\u0113m, ko var\u0113tu dar\u012bt kop\u0101. \u012apa\u0161i par liet\u0101m, ko neesat dar\u012bju\u0161i k\u0101du laiku vai visp\u0101r neesat m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju\u0161i. (koncerts, deju nodarb\u012bba, rota\u013c\u0101\u0161an\u0101s dub\u013cos liet\u016b utt.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                        Kad esat izveidojis iesp\u0113jamo aktivit\u0101\u0161u sarakstu, ir pien\u0101cis laiks doties uz randi\u0146u. Randi\u0146\u0161 var\u0113tu b\u016bt kaut kas piedz\u012bvojumiem bag\u0101ts vai rota\u013c\u012bgs, ta\u010du jums vajadz\u0113tu atrast laiku ar\u012b sarun\u0101m.<\/p>\n

                          \n
                        • Ko piedz\u012bvojums noz\u012bm\u0113 jums un j\u016bsu partnerim?<\/li>\n
                        • Kas bija p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 lieta, ko atceries, ko dar\u012bji tikai prieka p\u0113c?<\/li>\n
                        • K\u0101dus piedz\u012bvojumus tu v\u0113l\u0113tos piedz\u012bvot pirms n\u0101ves?<\/li>\n
                        • Sal\u012bdziniet atnestos sarakstus un p\u0101rbaudiet, kuras aktivit\u0101tes p\u0101rkl\u0101jas.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                          Da\u017eiem p\u0101riem var \u0161\u0137ist, ka vi\u0146u saraksti ir \u013coti at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bgi, ta\u010du nebaidieties. Piedz\u012bvojums ir par jaunu lietu izm\u0113\u0123in\u0101\u0161anu. Kuras aktivit\u0101tes no j\u016bsu partnera saraksta j\u016bs esat gatavi izm\u0113\u0123in\u0101t?<\/p>\n

                          \"Izaugsme<\/h2>\n

                          Sept\u012bt\u0101 t\u0113ma: Izaugsme ir dabiska ikvienu attiec\u012bbu sast\u0101vda\u013ca, un gar\u012bgas j\u0113gas atra\u0161ana var b\u016bt da\u013ca no t\u0101m.<\/h2>\n

                          Da\u017ei saka, ka p\u0101rmai\u0146as ir labas, citi saka, ka p\u0101rmai\u0146as ir nepiecie\u0161amas. P\u0101rmai\u0146as attiec\u012bb\u0101s ir vienk\u0101r\u0161i neizb\u0113gamas. M\u0113s main\u0101mies, main\u0101s m\u016bsu dz\u012bvesbiedrs, un main\u0101s m\u016bsu attiec\u012bbas.<\/p>\n

                          Autori k\u0101 piem\u0113ru min Eriku un D\u017eeiku. Erika nol\u0113ma pamest savu labi apmaks\u0101to darbu m\u0101rketing\u0101 un \u012bstenot savu sapni k\u013c\u016bt par m\u0101kslinieci. D\u017eeiks vi\u0146u atbalst\u012bja ik uz so\u013ca, zinot, cik tas vi\u0146ai ir svar\u012bgi. Vi\u0146u ietaup\u012bjumi izs\u012bka, un vi\u0146iem bija j\u0101p\u0101rce\u013cas uz maz\u0101ku dz\u012bvokli. Vi\u0146i atteic\u0101s no vienk\u0101r\u0161\u0101m liet\u0101m, piem\u0113ram, telev\u012bzijas. Bet katr\u0101 p\u0101rmai\u0146u sol\u012b vi\u0146i p\u0101rrun\u0101ja apk\u0101rt notieko\u0161o un atbalst\u012bja viens otru \u0161ajos dz\u012bvi maino\u0161ajos l\u0113mumos. Erikas v\u0101rdiem run\u0101jot, vi\u0146iem ir \u2014 "Vislab\u0101k\u0101 dz\u012bve!" Vi\u0146iem varb\u016bt nav daudz naudas, bet vi\u0146iem ir j\u0113ga, un vi\u0146i ir viens otram blakus.<\/p>\n

                          Sept\u012btais randi\u0146\u0161 ir par att\u012bst\u012bbu un gar\u012bgumu. Pirms do\u0161an\u0101s uz randi\u0146u:<\/p>\n

                            \n
                          • Uzziniet, kuri no j\u016bsu m\u0113r\u0137iem p\u0101rkl\u0101jas?<\/li>\n
                          • Vai jums ir kop\u012bgi m\u0113r\u0137i?<\/li>\n
                          • Vai j\u016bsu dz\u012bvesbiedrs nov\u0113rt\u0113 j\u016bsu sasniegumus?<\/li>\n
                          • Ko tu v\u0113lies sasniegt dz\u012bv\u0113?<\/li>\n
                          • Uz randi\u0146u vari l\u012bdzi pa\u0146emt ar\u012b vienu lietu, kas godina tavu partneri. T\u0101 var\u0113tu b\u016bt fotogr\u0101fija vai kaut kas \u012bpa\u0161s.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                            Iepaz\u012b\u0161an\u0101s laik\u0101 ir j\u0101apsprie\u017e vair\u0101ki svar\u012bgi gar\u012bgi jaut\u0101jumi:<\/p>\n

                              \n
                            • Vai j\u016bsu dz\u012bvesbiedrs b\u0113rn\u012bb\u0101 bija reli\u0123iozs?<\/li>\n
                            • Ko vi\u0146\u0161 uzskata par sv\u0113tu?<\/li>\n
                            • K\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 atrod iek\u0161\u0113jo mieru gr\u016btos br\u012b\u017eos?<\/li>\n
                            • K\u0101du p\u0101rliec\u012bbu vi\u0146\u0161 v\u0113l\u0113tos nodot saviem b\u0113rniem?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                              Gar\u012bgums iet roku rok\u0101 ar dz\u012bves j\u0113gu un att\u012bst\u012bbu, t\u0101p\u0113c esi gatavs dzi\u013cai filozofiskai sarunai.<\/p>\n

                              \"Sap\u0146i<\/h2>\n

                              Astot\u0101 t\u0113ma: Lai rad\u012btu m\u016b\u017e\u012bgu m\u012blest\u012bbu, vienm\u0113r cieniet sava partnera sap\u0146us<\/h2>\n

                              Mums visiem ir savi sap\u0146i, ta\u010du ne visi velta laiku, lai tos \u012bstenotu. M\u016bsdienu straujais dz\u012bves ritms apgr\u016btina \u0123imenes, pilnas slodzes darba un sap\u0146u l\u012bdzsvaro\u0161anu.<\/p>\n

                              Cik svar\u012bgi tev ir sap\u0146i? K\u0101 tu vari pal\u012bdz\u0113t savam partnerim virz\u012bties uz vi\u0146u sap\u0146u sasnieg\u0161anu?<\/p>\n

                              Dags un Rei\u010dela jau attiec\u012bbu s\u0101kum\u0101 bija ne\u0161\u0137irami un bezgala iem\u012bl\u0113ju\u0161ies viens otr\u0101. Ta\u010du Dagam bija sapnis \u2014 vi\u0146\u0161 v\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s uz gadu doties uz Izra\u0113lu, lai mekl\u0113tu savas saknes. Lai gan s\u0101kum\u0101 Rei\u010dela bija skumja, vi\u0146a zin\u0101ja, ka nevar st\u0101ties Daga sap\u0146u ce\u013c\u0101. T\u0101p\u0113c vi\u0146a mudin\u0101ja vi\u0146u doties turp.<\/p>\n

                              Kad Dags atgriez\u0101s, vi\u0146\u0161 pl\u0101noja pievienoties Rei\u010delai \u0145ujork\u0101, lai kop\u0101 s\u0101ktu k\u0101pt pa karjeras k\u0101pn\u0113m. Ta\u010du Rei\u010delas sap\u0146i bija main\u012bju\u0161ies. Vi\u0146a bija nol\u0113musi doties 3000 km att\u0101lum\u0101, lai stud\u0113tu medic\u012bnu. Dagam l\u0113mums bija skaidrs \u2013 vi\u0146\u0161 atteic\u0101s no saviem sap\u0146iem par \u0145ujorku un p\u0101rc\u0113l\u0101s dz\u012bvot pie Rei\u010delas. Pateicoties \u0161im upurim, Rei\u010dela jut\u0101s m\u012bl\u0113ta.<\/p>\n

                              P\u0113d\u0113j\u0101, astot\u0101 randi\u0146a t\u0113ma ir sap\u0146i. Lai sagatavotos randi\u0146am:<\/p>\n

                                \n
                              • Izveidojiet sarakstu ar saviem sap\u0146iem, st\u0101stiem, kas sl\u0113pjas aiz tiem, un to, k\u0101 j\u016bsu laul\u0101tais var jums pal\u012bdz\u0113t virz\u012bties uz to sasnieg\u0161anu.<\/li>\n
                              • Pierakstiet ar\u012b visus kop\u012bgos sap\u0146us, par kuriem esat iepriek\u0161 run\u0101ju\u0161i, nor\u0101dot, k\u0101 j\u016bs varat viens otram pal\u012bdz\u0113t ar tiem.<\/li>\n
                              • \u0160\u012b randi\u0146a norises vieta var\u0113tu b\u016bt kaut kas iedvesmojo\u0161s, k\u0101p\u0113c gan ne vieta, kur var v\u0113rot saulrietu.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                                \u0160is datums ir \u012bstais laiks, lai iedzi\u013cin\u0101tos, jaut\u0101jumiem j\u0101aptver \u0161\u0101das t\u0113mas:<\/p>\n

                                  \n
                                • Vai tev b\u0113rn\u012bb\u0101 bija sap\u0146i?<\/li>\n
                                • Vai vec\u0101ki tev pal\u012bdz\u0113ja tos sasniegt?<\/li>\n
                                • Kur\u0161 sapnis tev ir vissvar\u012bg\u0101kais?<\/li>\n
                                • Kad esat uzzin\u0101jis par sava partnera sap\u0146iem, ir pien\u0101cis laiks izdom\u0101t, k\u0101 izr\u0101d\u012bt vi\u0146iem cie\u0146u.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                                  Sap\u0146i m\u0113dz b\u016bt tie, kas tiek upur\u0113ti ikdienas dz\u012bves burzmas d\u0113\u013c. Ne\u013caujiet tam notikt. Pierakstiet savus sap\u0146us, p\u0101rrun\u0101jiet tos ar savu partneri un katru dienu speriet vienu mazu soli, kas j\u016bs ved\u012bs uz j\u016bsu sapni. Pat ja tas ir tikai mazs solis.<\/p>\n

                                  Kopsavilkums<\/h2>\n

                                  Katras attiec\u012bbas ir atkar\u012bgas no labas komunik\u0101cijas neatkar\u012bgi no t\u0101, vai esat prec\u0113ju\u0161ies jau ilgu laiku vai joproj\u0101m atrodaties medusm\u0113nes\u012b. Lai j\u016bsu attiec\u012bbas b\u016btu stipras un kvalitat\u012bvas, regul\u0101ri tiekieties, izbaudiet viens otra sabiedr\u012bbu un run\u0101jiet.<\/p>\n

                                  Un k\u0101p\u0113c gan neorganiz\u0113t tematiskus randi\u0146us par t\u0113m\u0101m, par kur\u0101m m\u0113s run\u0101j\u0101m: uztic\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un ap\u0146em\u0161an\u0101s, konfliktu risin\u0101\u0161ana, sekss un intimit\u0101te, darbs un nauda, \u0123imene un b\u0113rni, sp\u0113les un piedz\u012bvojumi, izaugsme un gar\u012bgums, k\u0101 ar\u012b sap\u0146i.<\/p>\n

                                  Kvalitat\u012bva sarunu higi\u0113na<\/h2>\n

                                  Pirms do\u0161an\u0101s uz randi\u0146iem, \u0101tri atg\u0101din\u0101sim sev, k\u0101 izskat\u0101s piekl\u0101j\u012bga saruna.<\/p>\n

                                  Komunik\u0101cija ir divvirzienu iela, komunik\u0101cijas laik\u0101 nevajadz\u0113tu nov\u0113rst uzman\u012bbu no cit\u0101m liet\u0101m. Klaus\u012b\u0161an\u0101s ir tikpat svar\u012bga k\u0101 run\u0101\u0161ana. Izsl\u0113dziet t\u0101lruni, uzturiet acu kontaktu un izr\u0101diet patiesu interesi par savu partneri un to, ko vi\u0146\u0161 saka.<\/p>\n

                                  Viens no veidiem, k\u0101 demonstr\u0113t akt\u012bvu klaus\u012b\u0161anos, ir uzdot atbilsto\u0161us jaut\u0101jumus p\u0113c tam, kad partneris ir beidzis run\u0101t. Piem\u0113ram, j\u016bs var\u0113tu pajaut\u0101t: "Vai j\u016bs var\u0113tu to paskaidrot s\u012bk\u0101k?" vai "Vai jums ir k\u0101ds st\u0101sts par to, ko tikko teic\u0101t?" Tas par\u0101da, ka j\u016bs akt\u012bvi klaus\u012bj\u0101ties, un tas var\u0113tu likt vi\u0146am uzskat\u012bt j\u016bs par uzticamu sarunu biedru.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                                  Paljude paaride jaoks on v\u00e4ljakutseks regulaarselt kohtingul k\u00e4imine. Takistusi v\u00f5ib olla mitmeid, nt pole ideid kuhu minna v\u00f5i mida seal teha. Samuti on levinud v\u00e4ljakutse vestluste algatamine suhte jaoks olulistel teemadel. Nii lihtne on vestlusi olulistel, kuid rasketel teemadel edasi…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":64,"featured_media":3539,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[102],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-suhted","entry","has-media"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n8 kohtingu teemat, mis hoiavad armastuse leegi \u00fcleval - Terve Elu Keskus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Millest r\u00e4\u00e4kida kohtingul? Kuidas algatada vestlust olulistel teemadel? 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